Most people don’t go to a dating site planning to be jerks. Many of them, however, turn out to act as if that’s exactly what they are. Sometimes we unknowingly leave trails of bruised feelings or unpleasantness. Here’s how to avoid being a jerk on dating sites.
1) Answer emails and texts.
The fact someone took the time to email or text you means it’s only decent to grace them with a response. Of course, we’re not talking about those situations where you’ve excanged a message or two and didn’t like the person. It’s absolutely ok not to force yourself into a communication that doesn’t feel good to you. But, if you’ve been messaging a person for a while and at one point you just leave them hanging, that’s a different story. maybe you’ve come to realize you don’t really like them and that’s ok – but say it. Respond to that message by telling them why you think the two of you wouldn’t be a good match. Be polite about it, but don’t leave them hanging. It’s unbelievably rude.
2) Don’t fade away.
This is somewhat of a classic when it comes to online dating. A person just slowly starts fading away. They take several days to answer your text, they talk about their weekend plans and whatnot – but never ask you about your days, your plans. This obviously leads to nothing and while many people might get the clue, many others won’t. They’ll keep questioning themselves about everything they’ve said to you, trying to figure out what might have gone wrong.
It’s hard to be upfront, but it’s certainly more respectful than simply fading away and, again, leaving the person hanging for weeks until they “get the picture”. It’s cruel. Don’t do it.
3) Don’t suddenly disappear from everywhere
This would be ghosting. Many people do it, and it’s a clear sign of an immature, cowardly individual who has no guts to say what they mean. It just shows you can’t handle any sort of a conflict. While you most certainly don’t owe everyone a response, taking the time to reject a polite person who is interested in you is only human — and civilized.
4) Be clear about dates.
Let’s say you want to meet someone in person and you say something like “Perhaps we could hang out some weekend?” and then just let the whole thing drop without ever even mentioning it again. This doesn’t make you look spontaneous or chill. It makes you look like a flake. And no one likes flakes.