According to recent statistics, 84% or Americans are supportive of interracial marriages. Even though dating someone of a different race isn’t such a big deal as it used to be in the previous century, many interracial couples still have to face weird stares coming from random people.
There is no way of avoiding those stares, unless you decide to never leave the house again, so the real question you should ask yourself is: how to overcome them, and how to deal with them?
Let’s take a look at some useful tips that might help you:
You Might Be Seeing It Wrong
Keeping in mind the fact that such a huge majority of people approves of interracial dating, you should think about the possibility that not all the looks you are getting are meant to come off as the evil eye. Most of the people you meet probably don’t mean any harm, nor do they judge you.
However, despite the increasing number of interracial couples, black women are somehow less likely to start such a relationship, compared to everyone else. This means if you are a black woman in an interracial relationship, your boyfriend and you make a really rare sight, and people might look at you quite often, but this doesn’t mean they’re looking at you with judgmental eyes. It is probably just visual interest and curiosity that makes them stare at you.
Think about it, when you see something for the first time, do your own eyes linger a bit? Mine sure do. It is important to realize that all the attention you might be getting has little or nothing to do with you two as individuals. It’s more about the cultural context and plain, simple curiosity.
Pick the places you spend your free time at strategically
Some places, no matter how fun they may seem, just aren’t worth all the trouble. Let’s say, for example, you went to a country music concert and ended up getting weird stares from people all night long. No matter how much you might like country music, dealing with the unpleasant behavior of ignorant people all evening is hardly anyone’s idea of a good time. Go to a different place and enjoy yourself, forget about places that might be crowded with closed-minded people. You deserve a better company than that.
Analyze your relationship
The better you feel about your relationship, the more secure you feel about it, the less worried you will be about how other people perceive it. Talk to your partner, analyze each other’s thoughts on your relationship. A happy couple doesn’t care what other people think about them, all they care about is making each other happy.
You need to ask yourself why people’s views bother you. Is there a chance you might be having your own identity issues? Talk to your partner about it and make sure you are not the one who subconsciously sabotages your own relationship.
Say something
You might not be sure what those people think when they stare at you, but there is something you can do: be polite and stand up for yourself. If the looks get uncomfortably intense, you could simply ask the person: “May I help you?”, or be even nicer and ask them: “Hello, how are you today?”
Sometimes people aren’t even aware of their own stares. Once you talk to them and let them know their stare hasn’t gone unnoticed, they will feel embarrassed and walk away.
If you are in an interracial relationship, and you enjoy being in one, dealing with the stares might be unpleasant at the beginning. Once you are certain you are with the right person, once you get to know your partner and love everything about them, there won’t be a stare in this world that could hurt your relationship.
